Lately I’ve found myself in a strange place, I’ve been working on my Master’s thesis as frustrating as that has been and everything has been going “according to plan” except my idea of ‘the plan’ has completely changed in the mean time. Does that even make sense? If not, I’m sorry but at least you’re getting an idea of the strange place I find myself in these days. Okay let me try and explain this…..I want more. I don’t want mediocre, normal or average, I want more.
For the past 3 months I’ve been on the most amazing journey of my life helping foster kids, connecting with children’s home kids and just kids in general. It has been a roller coaster ride but never in my wildest dreams would I ever have guessed that God would work through me as much as he has these last few months, to the point of using me as a connection point for my 2 amazing boys to be fostered by my awesome friends and create through us, one big family. Literally, we’re a family, I think my official title these days is ‘God mother’ to those beautiful young men 🙂 In these past months, I’ve done the job of a social worker, unofficially obviously, I’ve attended drug rehab support group meetings with a teenager, I’ve dealt with the education department and sat in countless meetings with principals and supervisors, you name it, I’ve been there. I’ve tutored, I’ve played hand tennis in front yards, cried with kids and laughed with kids. I’ve seen lives change in front of my eyes, I’ve seen hope ignite within children who had given up, I’ve experienced genuine kindness from strangers after hearing the various situations, I’ve experienced love in all forms.
I mean, one of the boys first day at school after us freaking out a bit at how much school supplies are costing, arrives at his desk which is covered in ALL his stationary and books, everything! The principal gave it to him, can you imagine how we cried?! Then people giving school uniforms for FREE even having an amazing friend of mine offering free swimming lessons. People’s kindness has honestly blown me away. This has become my ‘normal’, God supernaturally coming through everyday via amazing people in every way has become my ‘normal’ and I cannot go back to anything less.
So here I sit, not wanting to ‘just’ work a normal job, yes I’m getting my Master’s degree but that’s not all I want for this year or for my life. I want more. I want to do more things that not only matter but that changes situations, changes lives and shows God in a real way. I want to do whatever it is that God would have me do because if its anything like it’s been for the last few months then it can only be nothing short of mind blowing. I have no idea where to from here but I wait….I wait for the next instruction, the next door to open, the next move. It isn’t easy to wait but I hold on to Proverbs 3:5-6 and pray it comes quickly 🙂 :
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”