This isn’t going as planned.

The most common question asked in an interview is “where do you see yourself in the next 5/10 years?”. Based on the answer, the interviewer establishes how goal orientated you are, how focused you are and if you have a plan for your life because having a plan shows that you’re motivated and willing to work hard to achieve something.

We’re taught to make plans. It’s just what we do. We plan to ensure we have control. We work out every detail in the way we see fit and then we go step by step through our plan. So I made my plan. I calculated, I weighed up all the options, I figured out how best to achieve my goal and I formulated my plan. The plan to finish my three year Master of Arts degree majoring in Theology and Education in one year and six months. According to my plan, it was easily possible, cost would be split up since it’s a module based program so I’d pay for each module as I was ready to do it. I calculated and the remaining months versus the remaining modules balanced well. I had a really good plan. I even got funding for the additional modules I would be registering for end of July.

And then it happened. Subtly at first. I got emails saying there’s an admin delay and  I had to wait until I could register for the additional modules. Okay. That would probably be a week wait at most. Wrong. Numerous emails later, weeks passing by I find myself in the middle of August and still have not registered for the additional modules. Instead I have received the paperwork for the expected two modules to be registered for and completed in September (I had planned to be done with the two additional ones by September and then carried on with the September modules).

So, instead of everything being evenly spaced out including the costs involved. Now all remaining additional modules will be pushed to October & November. Including their costs. This is not how I planned it to be. My plan was easy, my plan didn’t include much pressure, my plan gave me control. Right now. My plan has been thrown in the bin, the costs now involved are more than I have. The time frame is still possible but I no longer hold any control on whether it will happen or not.

It’s frustrating. It’s demotivating. It’s a whole bunch of emotions wrapped up into one. And then, it’s typical. It’s a typical God situation. Every time we get arrogant and think that we have control of our lives, when we think it’s solely about our narrow goal or picture. God steps in and allows things to spin out of our control so that it can find its way back into His hands. Like when Josephs brothers went on a journey to Egypt to buy food during the famine. Their plan was simple, just go and buy food.Suddenly they find themselves in trouble and at risk of losing their youngest brother, Benjamin or so they think. God’s plan however for that journey was to restore their family, to allow forgiveness, love and unity to join them and bring Israel together.

So right now, my life is out of my control. It’s scary. But I’m excited to see what the bigger picture here is. Two of my many favorite verses are Matthew 6:33 and Jeremiah 29:11, ironic hey? Those are the ones I am clinging to now more than ever before. It’s the reminder I needed, that God’s plan is perfect and I need to rely on Him more than I rely on myself. As I rely on Him more and more each day, His peace grows in my life and I am encouraged and pushed on because I know there isn’t a better one who I’d want to be holding my future.

“Regardless of what the future holds. God holds the future.”

 

 

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